Military personnel and their families prefer Mr. Bush as Commander-in-Chief by 3 to 1, the AP incredulously reports. Well, but of course they proceed to conclude, struggling to make sense of the inconvenient: soldiers support him because the military is mostly republicans!

But they've got it backwards: They're republicans and support Mr. Bush because they're in the military. The Gnomon intends to bring this fact up the next time Al Sharpton or Charles Rangel insist there is a disproportionate number of oppressed minorities in the armed forces, sent off to fight wars for bloated, wealthy white men.

Meanwhile at the farside of reality, cushy filmmaker Michael Moore tells anybody that will listen that if Bush is re-elected, the world will end.